


give me a reason

by nonducor



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: I tried angst, M/M, angst-ish, college jeno, college renjun, fluff at the end i swear, please give renjun love, they're in college
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 13:50:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19319482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonducor/pseuds/nonducor
Summary: jeno has to move away and renjun is struggling to deal with it





	give me a reason

“i got in!” jeno yelled from the room and it took renjun only seconds to realize what he’s talking about before he is screaming with joy alongside his boyfriend. they meet in the middle, jeno running out of the room and renjun from the kitchen, and they hug each other tightly, tears flowing freely.

 

“i knew you would get in! i’m so proud of you, jeno,” renjun cries out, pulling away to pepper kisses onto the boyfriend’s face and jeno accepts it, pressing his lips to renjun’s afterwards. they calm down soon enough, the fact that jeno will have to move away dawning upon them and renjun puts on a brave front, lips curving into a smile.

 

“we can meet on the weekends, or i can go look for you when i’m free!”

 

“jun, it’s a five hour drive. you’ll be exhausted by the time you get back. you can’t possibly be visiting me when you’ve got your classes. plus, you’ve got that part-time job,” jeno reasons, causing renjun’s face to fall.

 

“but… i guess we could make good use of the holidays. i can come back and spend time with you during my breaks, if you like that?” jeno is glad to see renjun smile again, albeit sadly but they’ll work it out eventually. they’ve had talks about it, jeno moving to the city. they would be apart but they must always make time to message each other, skype one another. the distance shouldn’t affect their relationship.

 

“it’s only four years. i can wait for you, jeno,” renjun had said when the former informed him about the possibility of him moving away if he were accepted. they were convinced that they could make it, could take whatever obstacles thrown at them.

 

* * *

 

renjun stares at his phone, waiting for jeno to reply him about coming back for the holidays. he’s beyond excited, jeno promising to come back to celebrate easter with him. he may or may not have gone overboard with the decorations, but that’s fine. jeno wouldn’t fault him for it.

 

his phone vibrates in his hand and he unlocks it hastily, wanting to see if it’s jeno. there is a message from jeno but the contents definitely weren’t to renjun’s liking.

 

_from: jeno <3 <3 <3 _

_hey, baby. i’m so sorry but i have to finish up a project so i won’t be able to come back for easter. i’ll make it up to you, okay? i love you_

 

renjun takes a deep breath, closing his eyes to convince himself that it’s alright. at the moment, jeno’s studies should be more important than anything. he can’t help the twinge of disappointment in his chest when his eyes goes over the message.

 

_to: jeno <3 <3 <3 _

_don’t worry about making it up to me, okay? just focus on your project and i’m sure we can see each other soon enough. i love you too, so much._

 

renjun stays up for the rest of the night, staring at his blank screen.

 

* * *

 

“waiting for jeno’s message?” renjun glances up from jeno’s last message from the two nights ago to find donghyuck seated in front of him and sighs, placing his phone aside.

 

“yes. why do you ask when you already know?”

 

“because he would reply to you the first chance he has and it’s weird to see him so busy when we’re so chill. mark is super chill too, but i guess his university can’t give him a break, huh,” donghyuck comments, lapsing into the topic of their homework and renjun tunes it all out, his mind drifting off to his boyfriend. he decides that he’ll leave another message for the younger when he’s done with his next class, not that he’ll be paying attention to that class. the moment he’s through the door, renjun flings his bag onto the couch and dials his boyfriend’s number, hoping that he will pick up. he’s been missing jeno’s voice so much, after all. it connects after a long ten seconds and jeno speaks before renjun can.

 

_“hey, baby. i’m so sorry but i can’t speak now. i’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”_

 

renjun feels his heart sink but he tries his best to keep it out, putting a smile on instead.

 

“yeah, sure. i’m sorry for bothering. i just missed you, that’s why…” renjun trails off, hating how the sadness seeps into his voice regardless and hates the fact he probably made jeno guilty.

 

 _“no, you’re not bothering. i just - i really can’t talk now. i’ll talk to you real soon okay? i promise,”_ renjun wants to say something but concedes, knowing that jeno wouldn’t just brush him away easily unless he is really busy and allows himself a soft sigh.

 

“go do your thing then. i love you,” he says in a small voice.

 

 _“i love you too,”_ the call is cut off almost immediately and renjun can’t help the stinging in his chest, closing his eyes briefly to convince himself that jeno is really busy and not out doing some dumb things. renjun falls asleep late in the night, mind restless with thoughts of jeno, jeno, jeno.

 

* * *

 

renjun wakes up, feeling like complete shit. memories of yesterday’s call come flooding into his mind and he groans, turning the music on his laptop to the highest. no negativity early in the morning. he glances at the time displayed on his laptop and grimaces. okay, maybe it’s not that early in the morning anymore. he trudges to the bathroom to wash up, his chest filled with sadness at the sight of jeno’s face towel next to his own. he misses jeno so much.

 

which reminds him that jeno is supposed to call today. that little reminder is more than enough to lift his spirits and he washes up quickly, getting to his homework that has been given over the past week. it’s the weekend so he’s allowed a little relaxation. he switches to the playlist that he had made for him and jeno on their first year anniversary, the memory of jeno’s smile floating in his mind.

 

he sets to work, the happiness keeping his morale high. his eyes repeatedly drifts over to the blank screen on his phone, hoping to see it light up with the name of his beloved on it. but it never lights up, even by the time renjun is done with all of the work he is to hand in. he can’t help the twinge of disappointment and tells himself that jeno shouldn’t be making the first move every single time. taking a deep breath, renjun works up the courage and unlocks his phone, pressing on jeno’s contact name (with three blue hearts, of course). he waits with bated breath for jeno to pick up, almost sighing in relief when he does.

 

“hey. listen, about yesterday-”

 

_“i’m sorry i blew you off like that. i was really busy yesterday and i couldn’t talk for long. i really, really missed you.”_

 

renjun feels his heart softens, a small smile making it’s way to his lips. “oh, jeno. i miss you so much too. i didn’t mean to make you feel bad or anything but it’s been literal weeks since we’ve met and… i don’t know. i just want to see you and hug you.”

 

_“i know, and i promise to visit you the first thing i’m done with all these stupid projects, okay?”_

 

“when you’re done with all your projects?” renjun echoes with a frown, glancing at his calendar. jeno was supposed to come back next week to celebrate their anniversary and he struggles to keep his voice neutral. “but what about next week? you said you were going to come back to spend the weekend with me.”

 

_“i’m sorry but i can’t afford to come. i’ve got to help my project mates since i’m done with my part and the faster we finish, the faster we can hand this in and be done. so next week would be impossible, jun.”_

 

renjun hates the way jeno sounds tired, hates the way that his first thought isn’t to think for jeno’s education but himself. so he cannot help but feel angry.

 

“but you promised!” he raises his voice, anger dripping in his tone. “you promised to come back and spend the weekend with me! you know i hate it when you go back on your promises!”

 

_“jun, for the love of god- can you be more mature? you know i can’t fulfil all my promises, especially if i’m busy with all my work. i’m sorry i can’t just drop everything and spend time with you. this is university life, jun. you should understand that.”_

 

renjun knows jeno is right and he shuts up immediately, staying quiet for the longest time ever. he can’t help the small sob that escapes his lips, feeling weak and stupid. he doesn’t even know he’s crying when he lets his voice turn cold, spitting out his last words with venom.

 

“no. i think you just don’t have time for me anymore,” he hangs up without allowing jeno to say another word, letting himself wail loudly in his empty house that feels too big all of a sudden. donghyuck comes home a while later, and renjun bursts into tears again when donghyuck asks him if he’s okay. renjun thinks jeno called him when donghyuck wordlessly hugs him, not asking a single question like he usually does. that thought is enough to send a fresh wave of tears to the brim of his eyes. he eventually falls asleep, too tired from all that crying.

 

* * *

 

“i know i’m in the wrong,” is the first thing that renjun says when he finds donghyuck in the kitchen, making him breakfast and the younger pauses, humming in approval. “but i’m not going to call and apologize, because i think i want to let him focus on his projects first,” he continues after, knowing that that’s not the reason why. he’s too scared of what jeno would say, scared that jeno would want to break up with him for being so childish, so immature.

 

the days pass like nothing happen and renjun feels even more like shit, wanting nothing more than to run to where his boyfriend is and apologize for his behavior. but he’s too scared, too guilty to do it, so he waits. waits for jeno to call him first.

 

he feels extra irritable because it’s their anniversary and jeno isn’t around, thanking god when his shift at work finally ends and he pulls his phone out of his pocket, finding a message from donghyuck.

 

_from: the devil_

_better thank me when you get back home_

_and do not dirty the couch_

 

renjun frowns, not understanding what donghyuck is talking about and shrugs it off, wanting to go home and shower. he puts his headphones on, the very first song he had recommended to jeno playing in his ears and he fights off the tears, not wanting to cry in public. he rushes home, hoping that the tears stay in until then. he sighs in satisfaction after unlocking the door, wanting to fling his bag onto the couch out of habit but he freezes, his arm locked in mid-air. because jeno is seated on the couch.

 

he doesn’t know if he should cry, run out or run to jeno, staying rooted to his spot. he thinks it’s all a bad dream. he tells himself that it isn’t real until jeno walks over and engulfs him in his warmth, hugging him to his chest tightly. he feels jeno’s lips on his but it just doesn’t feel real. jeno is too busy at the moment.

 

“is this a dream,” he murmurs, hearing jeno’s loud laugh right down to his bones and feels jeno’s lips on his cheek.

 

“pinch me,” renjun says, jeno immediately complying and chuckling when the former yelps loudly and jumps away. renjun hugs his arm with a pout, rubbing the abused patch of skin and lets jeno envelop him in his strong arms again. he eventually wraps his arms around jeno’s waist, his finger tracing random patterns on jeno’s back as he tries to think of something to say, anything.

 

“i’m sorry,” they both blurt out at the same time, staring at each other for a moment before bursting out into laughter, similar fond smiles upon their lips. jeno gestures for renjun to go first and he takes a deep breath.

 

“i’m sorry for being so immature and demanding. i was mostly mad that you couldn’t come back in time for our anniversary, which is why i said that. will you forgive me?” he asks earnestly, sincerity clear in his tone and expression.

 

“for what it’s worth, i’m sorry too. it wasn’t cool of me to blow you off and say all those things too. i know how important promises mean to you, so i understand. i do forgive you and i hope you will forgive me as well,” jeno pleads, even if he doesn’t need to do so. renjun will forgive anything he does so he doesn’t say anything, simply pressing his lips against jeno’s softly, conveying all of his feelings for the past few months. they break apart long enough for jeno to carry renjun in his arms and go to renjun’s room, continuing to kiss on his bed, as if to make up for all the lost kisses.

 

they lay there on the bed, foreheads pressed against each other’s. the silence is comfortable and renjun can’t help but think that his day is now complete, with jeno lying in front of him. jeno’s hand is idly caressing his back as he stares into renjun’s eyes, as if he is trying to read the latter’s mind.

  
“i’m sorry,” renjun begins with a small voice, “for starting an unnecessary fight with you. you must have been so tired and stressed and i added onto your problems.”

 

“sweetheart, it’s okay. i forgave you already and i was wrong too. it’s not completely your fault, okay? i promise to make it up to you for the rest of the week,” jeno confesses, causing renjun to perk up with wide eyes.

 

“my group mates said that they’ll finish their work on their own so i’m free til next week. which means we can celebrate and make up for lost time,” he continues and renjun squeals loudly, throwing his arms around jeno’s neck to pull him closer.

 

“i love you so much, jeno!”

 

“i love you too, renjun.”

**Author's Note:**

> i tried my best with this. also, i wanted to make jeno busy with his new friends to the point that he forgot renjun and his own friends. and then they would argue and break up. but i'm not that evil, so.


End file.
